


Close to my heart (and yet a world away)

by StrangeNoise



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - World War II, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Letters, Longing, Love Letters, M/M, Married Couple, Mentions of homophobia, Nines' name is Niles in this just fyi, References to Historical Events, Soldier Nines, Vaguely Christmas themed, kind of sad, missing your lover, writing letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22121176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeNoise/pseuds/StrangeNoise
Summary: When Niles is drafted to fight a cruel war against the Japanese, his husband, Gavin, is forced to stay behind. The only way for them to deal with how much they miss each other, especially around Christmas, is writing letters...
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28
Collections: Reed900WinterGiftExchange19





	Close to my heart (and yet a world away)

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Reed900WinterExchange19 over on twitter. As a history nerd this was right up my alley and I hope everyone but especially my giftee enjoys this!
> 
>  **CW:** Very short reference to the homophobia that was prevalent at the time. Just mentioning this to be on the safe side!

_7th November 1943_

_My beloved Niles,_

_I hope my letter finds you well. By the time it reaches you it's probably Christmas already. So let me wish you a very merry Christmas despite it only being early November at the time I'm writing you this letter._

_I wish I could have you back in my arms by then but I know that won't be possible. It's been so long since I last held you; since I last saw you even. I miss you terribly each day and wish for nothing more than for you to finally return to me. At night I can hardly sleep because I worry so much. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't return to me. I can’t put into words how much I miss you every single day. I hate this war for taking you away from me._

_And you're missing so much back at home! Chris' wife had her first child a month ago. A beautiful, healthy baby girl. She looks a lot like her father. I hope Chris gets to return for Christmas and meet her as he planned. His wife and I talk a lot. We find comfort in talking about our husbands and in knowing that someone understands our longing._

_Work at the factory continues to be draining but at least I'm earning money and it keeps me occupied. If it weren't for that, I'd probably think about you all the time and never get anything done._

_It's strange trying to continue life back here while so many friends and family members are so far away, fighting a war. There are all these messages telling us to stay strong and that the war will be over soon. But they said the same thing last year and the year before that. Sometimes it feels like this war will never end. When you left last year, they said it was only going to be for a few months. But it has been almost a year now and the thought of you being gone even longer scares me. You are so far away, where I cannot protect you. I know you are strong and don’t need to be protected but I would still feel better if I were out there with you._

_But you’re out there without me, fighting this stupid war with thousands of others. Some days I spend most of my time wondering what you're doing and if you're alive and well. Every day I wish you were with me again. I know you wouldn't do this to me if you didn't have to and I'm so incredibly proud of you for fighting for a good cause. And yet I'd rather have you here and safe with me._

_Please promise me to stay safe and out of trouble. I cannot bear the thought of losing you. Each day, I'm sending all my positive thoughts and best wishes your way. I hope they reach you and will let you return to me as soon as possible. I wish you a happy and uneventful Christmas and a quick end to this war._

_I love you and I miss you endlessly._

_Yours forever,_

_Gavin_

Gavin read over his letter again and again. Each time it brought tears to his eyes. Every word in it was true. He wanted nothing but to have his husband back at home with him.

Niles had been gone for a little less than a year now. Last Christmas he had been in training and had been allowed to return home and spend Christmas with Gavin as their house wasn't too far from the training base. Christmas that year had been a solemn affair filled with tears and fear of what was to come. Neither of them had been sure what was going to happen but had constantly reassured themselves that everything would be fine. All in all, it hadn't been a nice Christmas. 

But Gavin would still prefer it over having to be all alone like he was going to be this year. His brother and sister-in-law had invited him to celebrate the holiday with them but Gavin was in no mood to spend Christmas with a happy couple that would only remind him of what he couldn't have this year. It was too painful to even consider. 

With a sigh, Gavin folded the letter, put it in an envelope and made his way to the post office. The worker there shot him an apologetic look when she read, where the letter was going. 

"My husband is out there fighting too", she said and there was an understanding between them that Gavin shared with a lot of people these days. 

He wasn't sure how he felt about sharing his fate with women for the most part but it wasn't like Gavin could do anything about that. After the first devastating attacks by the Japanese, almost all men his age had been drafted. Only Gavin stayed behind due to an injury he had sustained as a child and that made him unfit for service.

Gavin wasn't upset about not being drafted as such. As hot-headed and eager to jump into action as he usually was, he knew better than wanting to join a gruesome war. What truly hurt him was the fact that Niles was out there and he wasn't by his side to protect him. Sure, Gavin knew what his husband was capable of and that Niles was looking out for himself. But that didn't stop the nagging doubts from creeping into Gavin's dreams at night and sometimes even throughout the day. 

Finally realizing that he was drifting off in the middle of the post office, Gavin nodded to the lady behind the counter once more before leaving the building. His stomach tightened at the thought of returning to an empty house yet again. 

Gavin and Niles had only moved into the house two years before the start of the war. They had moved in as two bachelors and to almost everyone, that’s still what they were today. Only Chris and his wife as well as Gavin’s best friend, Tina, and Niles’ brother Connor knew that they had gotten married last year. Sometimes Gavin himself could hardly believe it.

Niles had proposed to him the day he had received the letter that said he was to go to war soon. Gavin had said yes without hesitation and they had held each other, crying, for most of the day. They hadn’t dared to be too optimistic about their future. Marriage between men was illegal and even if they found someone to ignore the law, the threat of Niles not returning from war loomed over them in every waking moment. 

Thankfully, luck had been on their side for once. They had found a registrar, who believed that in times, where hatred was so prevalent around the world, love should get any chance it could get. He married Niles and Gavin on a dark afternoon in autumn. Only Chris and his wife, Gavin's friend Tina, and Connor had been invited. The moment the last signature was scrawled onto the marriage certificate the registrar had probably stolen at risk to his own life, Niles had pulled Gavin into his arms and kissed him so deeply the memory made Gavin dizzy to this day.

Afterward, they had all retreated to their house and celebrated until far into the early hours of the morning.

A breeze brushed across Gavin’s face and he realized with a start that tears were running down his face. He rubbed them away but new ones kept coming. He was just so overcome with worry these days it was hard to bear sometimes. On a whim, Gavin made a detour to the harbor and watched the ships, big and small, military and civilian enter and leave the port. It was almost a year now that he had watched Niles leave from this very spot. The memory was more painful than Gavin had anticipated and yet the sight of the boats and ships in the harbor filled him with calm tranquility at the same time. 

Ships were coming and going the same way they had almost a year ago. The day followed the night, winter would turn into spring again. And one day destiny would carry Niles back into Gavin’s arms, he was sure of it. It might be painful now but everything would be well again soon enough, Gavin told himself. Life had tested them before and they had prevailed. They would get through this, too, and the sadness he felt now would only make his reunion with Niles all the sweeter.

“Please come back to me”, Gavin whispered into the wind, a breeze taking his words out onto the ocean. He imagined that, somehow, they would reach Niles. A watery smile spread on Gavin’s face and he turned his back on the sight of the harbor. Thinking about how beautiful the day Niles returned to him would be, Gavin began his walk back to their house feeling far more light-hearted than he had mere minutes ago. 

Several weeks later and a world away private first-class Niles Stern lounged in his bunk in the sleeping quarters he shared with nine other men. It was the early afternoon of the 25th December 1943 and after lunch had been had, most airmen and about half of the technical staff had been granted some time off. Life on the massive aircraft carrier that had been cruising the pacific for several months now had been quiet the past days and while people were being cautious, no one expected the Japanese to attack on Christmas day.

Right after lunch, Niles had taken a nap that he had just woken up from. Now he was waiting for the call to the front office to see if any mail had been delivered for him and his fellow men. It had been weeks since Niles had last heard from Gavin and the thought of how long they had already been separated made his heart clench painfully in his chest. They tried to stay in contact as much as they could but sending and receiving mail on an aircraft carrier almost all the way around the globe was slow and difficult at the best of times and sometimes when massive battles were fought, downright impossible. Niles often thought he should be used to this by now but in truth, it never got any easier.

And he knew he wasn’t the only one around, who felt this way. Sure, some men were in somewhat high spirits due to the holiday and the time off it granted them but most felt even more dark and glum than they usually did. It was Christmas and they were away from their families and loved ones. For many, it wasn’t the first Christmas they spent far away from those they wanted to be with on this day. The holiday was merely a grim reminder that another year had passed and the barbaric war they had been fighting for almost two years now had still not ended. Later in the day, a speech by the president would most likely be broadcast over the speakers throughout the ship and it would promise them the same quick end to the war and a chance to return home last year’s speech had. Hardly anyone believed it anymore.

Still, Niles tried not to lose hope. It would be the last thing Gavin would want for him. He knew from his husband’s previous letters, that he kept carefully stashed away with the rest of his belongings, that Gavin missed him just as much as Niles missed him. The letters they wrote each other were filled to the brim with love and worry alike, wishing to be reunited sooner rather than later. Every time, Niles felt hope leaving him, he would read through the letters Gavin had sent him. They never failed to fill him with love and determination. After reading his lover’s letters, giving up hope felt like treason to Niles and he did his best to have faith in the future.

On days like today, when everyone was desperately waiting for news from home, Niles could barely stand being away from his husband for another day. He just wanted to be home and hold Gavin in his arms like he had done before he had been drafted. Granted, life had not always been easy for them. They always had to be careful to make sure people didn’t discover they were more than just two bachelors sharing a house to save rent. It would take some more time for people to realize that their love was in no way different from that of a man and a woman and obviously not sick or depraved. Until then, they had to be together in secrecy.

Most of the time, Niles didn’t really mind that fact. Being able to be with Gavin was more than he could have ever hoped or asked for either way. And the fact that they had even been able to get married before he was shipped off to war was still as much of a miracle to Niles as the day it happened. Sure, he would love to show Gavin off and talk about their love like the other soldiers did with their wives and girlfriends but even if their marriage had to stay a secret forever, Niles would be happy because he got to be with Gavin. Or at least would get to be with him again once this thrice-damned war was finally over. Niles sighed deeply as the door to their room was abruptly flung open.

“Mail is ready for pick-up!”, a young private exclaimed and within seconds the room was empty. Everyone hurried to the front office, hoping their partner or family had written some warming words from home. The line in front of the office, where mail was handed out, was long but Niles didn’t mind as long as he would hold a letter from Gavin in his hands at the end of the day.

Niles had no idea for how long he stood in line, waiting and hoping among hundreds of comrades until it was finally his turn. The man in charge asked his name, looked through his files and then handed Niles the letter he had so desperately waited for. 

The brunet had barely left the office as he began to tear open the envelope and read what Gavin had written as he walked back to his sleeping quarters. By the time he climbed back into his bunk, Niles had read the letter three times over and tears were running down his face. God, Niles missed his husband now more than ever. He also missed Chris and his wife and couldn’t wait to meet their child once he came home. 

Reading that everything seemed to be going well back home, even if Gavin missed Niles as terribly as the brunet missed him, warmed Niles’ heart and calmed him down a little. He was constantly worried that something could happen to Gavin while he was away and every time he got confirmation that his husband was alive and well, a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders.

After he had calmed down a bit, Niles knew that he had to write back immediately. He wanted Gavin to receive an answer as quickly as possible and the sooner he wrote a letter back, the sooner Gavin would receive it. So Niles left his bunk again to find himself some writing supplies before returning and beginning to write.

_25th December 1943_

_My dearest Gavin,_

_I was overjoyed to receive your letter today. Even if my reply will only make it to you in a few weeks or months even, I wish you a belated Merry Christmas. I hope you got to spend the day with friends or family. I would hate for you to have to be alone on a day like this._

_Life here has been calm these past days but that will surely change with the beginning of the new year. Not fighting constantly is a wonderful change of pace but it also gives me time to think and when I think I remember how much I miss you. I wish, just like you, that this war would finally come to an end and I could return home to love and hold you again. I can hardly stand the thought of you all alone all this time. I am sick of missing you and missing out on all the wonderful things that happen back home while I am stuck on the ocean. It has to be done and I take pride in fighting for what is right but still, I want nothing more than to be back at home with you._

_I know you worry about my safety and I want you to know that I worry about you just as much. There are so many things that could happen to you back at home and I pray every night that you will be safe. Please take care of yourself while I’m gone and make sure you live safely. I know you’re capable of defending yourself just fine without me but I still worry. Knowing that you take good care of yourself while I can’t, would help me worry less. It is all I am asking of you._

_I don’t know when this letter will arrive but I hope it finds you well and thriving. Maybe by the time you read these lines, the war will have ended. It’s improbable but we can dream, right? It has to end one day and when that day comes, I’ll be on the first ship back home to you. Up until now, our married life has been cut short by me being so far away. But once I am back with you, I will make sure we can make good on all the time we have missed until now. I hope those plans give you enough hope to make it through some more time without me. I know that the thought of you is the only thing that keeps me going some days._

_Until the day we meet again I shall remain on this ship and think of you whenever I have enough time to do so. I love you and I miss you more than I ever thought I could be capable of missing someone. You are my everything and I cannot wait for the day when we will finally be reunited._

_Yours forever,_

_Niles._

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are! I hope everyone enjoyed :D  
> Comments and kudos are much appreciated! You can also say hi on twitter @NoiseStrangest


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